Ida Joan Bergendorf

This little girl is perfect and I love her so much! I am very happy to say that I have not experienced any postpartum depression like I did with Jacob and I am so so very grateful. I have been able to thoroughly enjoy that newborn stage that I have always loved with her. I love sitting and holding her and watching her facial expressions.

Ida so far has been a very easy baby. She pretty much sleeps 90% of the time. I know the majority of this is the newborn stage, but it does make things easy. She is also a very good eater. Jacob was a very impatient eater which made it hard to nurse because he never wanted to eat long enough to build up my milk supply. I do not think I'll have this problem with Ida. She eats very well and is ok working for it a little. I am also pumping extra to help build up my supply. It was always something I worried about when I was nursing Jacob and I don't want to have to worry about it with Ida. 

Ida's name comes from relatives on both Scott and I's side. Originally we were looking at names to look for potential middle names. But when we saw Ida we kind of liked it as a first name. So in the end we ended up using relatives names for both her first and second name. :) Here are a couple pictures that show where the names came from.

It has been so fun to watch Jacob with Ida. He loves her so much and constantly wants to hold her and kiss her and hug her. Jacob has transitioned to having another addition to the family very well. I think the only changes have been he throws fits just a little bit more (I think from the change in attention he is getting) and he always wants milk (I think this is his security to deal with the changes). Other than these two things he has done very well. He is patient when I am taking care of Ida and will wait until I am done to help him (95% of the time anyways). I just love watching them and I love how much Jacob likes Ida. It will be so fun to watch them grow together.

Total discouragment to Total elation

Wow... I had the most amazing birth experience. But let me start from the beginning. It all started at my 40 week appointment. I was planning on getting my membranes stripped to see if it would help speed things along. So when my midwife told me that my cervix or dilation still hadn't changed and that she wasn't even ABLE to strip the membranes I felt pretty discouraged. She then told me that if things hadn't changed by 41 weeks we would have to start talking c-section again. That's when I got really discouraged. For 3 weeks now my dilation hadn't changed at all. So why would it now. She also told me that she has often seen women who have had c-sections their first pregnancy and for some reason, maybe because the muscles and fibers have been damaged from the cut, when they go to try for a VBAC their body just wont progress. As she walked out the door she said, "Start talking to that baby girl and get her moving!" As soon as she left I broke into tears.

Again, I saw the whole vision of what I wanted my birth experience to be like slipping thru my fingers. I'd always known there was a possibility of having to get another c-section but mentally I had spent so much time preparing for a natural unmediated birth that it was nearly impossible for me to mentally accept having another c-section AND prepare for a natural birth at the same time because they were on completely opposite ends of my desire scale. I wanted so badly to feel labor pains, contractions, the whole nine yards. And the thought of again, not getting the chance to experience labor with all that came with it, I felt left out, like I was not able to fully experience womanhood or motherhood and I didn't understand why Heavenly Father didn't want me to experience these things.

So at 1:30 pm when I noticed I was having contractions consistently and that with each contraction brought menstrual like cramping, I would not let myself get my hopes up. I just waited for them to stop and started walking stairs. I walked stairs for 45 minutes hoping it would help put me into labor. It was at 4:30 pm that I started timing my contractions because I was still having them. 10 minutes apart. I still was not getting my hopes up that I could possibly be in labor and waited for them to stop. For the rest of the afternoon and evening I had contractions 10 minutes apart. They were not hard or painful, just tightening. When Scott and I finally decided to go to bed I was so scared the contractions would stop during the night. I wanted so badly to be in labor. So I didn't end up getting very much sleep because every time I woke up I would time my contractions for the next half an hour or so to make sure I was still having them. Yup, still 10 minutes apart. It would then take me another hour or so to fall back to sleep because I was excited they hadn't stopped. I think I ended up maybe getting 3 hours of sleep the whole night. In the morning I was my contractions were still 10 minutes apart but the cramping seemed to be a little harder. At 8 am I decided maybe baby girl wasn't in a good position to drop and that's why my contractions weren't getting any stronger so I started doing a couple moves that were supposed to help get the baby in a good laboring position. Well I don't know if that is what got things going or if it was all a coincident but I felt my labor really started after I did the moves.

Scott went to work because we didn't know how long I would have the mild 10 minutes apart contractions but at 11:30 am I called him and told him I needed him to come home to help out with my contractions because I was having back labor. Around 3 pm I was starting to become a little discouraged because my contractions were still 10 minutes apart but the contractions seemed really really intense. I had tried using the relaxation techniques I had practiced over and over from my hypnobabies but it never seemed to help. I could be super relaxed but as soon as that contraction hit it was like someone bending my back in half and the only thing that brought me any relief from the pain was Scott putting counter pressure on my back during the contractions. My mom called to see how things were going and I told her I didn't know if I was going to be able to go unmediated because the contractions were already so intense and still only 10 minutes apart and if they were going to get any more intense I didn't know if I could handle it. My mom gave me some comfort words and told me most likely the contractions had already hit the intensity they were going to but would get closer together. That ended up being true for the most part for the remainder of labor. I was still discouraged though because I felt like my contractions were never going to get any closer together. Around 4 pm I decided to try laboring in the tub to see if that would help things along. Not long after laboring in the tub I started having contractions 3-5 minutes apart. Around 6 the contractions started getting further apart again so I got out of the tub and after that I had contractions every 2-3 minutes. It was so intense. We decided we better go to the hospital. I know at this point Scott was starting to feel a little frantic because he was starting to thing we weren't going to make it to the hospital. He gave me a quick blessing and we starting making our way slowly to the car, stopping for contractions. The car ride to the hospital was the worst part of the whole labor. It was then that I decided we were having home births from then on because I never want to ride to the hospital again in labor. When ever I had a contraction I would make Scott stop the car if he could and sit and wait it out trying to find any position that might give me any kind of relief.

When we finally did make it to the hospital we got to the elevator and there was a lady there with her grandson following behind us. I could tell by the look that she gave us that she purposefully let us ride alone so that they wouldn't bother me during labor.... So it was really funny when we got to the top right when another contraction hit, missed our exit, and rode the elevator back down to where they were waiting. We then invited them to join us and rode up again.

For some reason after I got to the hospital I had a new determination. Not once did I ever think of getting an epidural. When the nurse first checked me after arriving I was dilated to a 6 in a half. 45 minutes after my midwife got there and checked me again and I was an 8. At this point I was laboring on my back in the bed and that REALLY wasn't working for me. The contractions were very intense and it was hard to get through them. Especially with the nurses asking me all these questions and having me sign all these forms I had no idea I was signing even though they were reading everything to me. So after all that was finished I moved to the birthing ball at the side of the bed and that is were I labored the rest of the time. It was much easier to get through the contractions with Scott and the nurse alternating between putting counter pressure on my back and pushing my hips together.

So being new to having a vaginal delivery I had never had my water break before and didn't know what that would be like. During some of my contractions I would think maybe my water broke because I would feel gushing. So I have to laugh to myself because when my water actually did break there was no mistaking it. Because I was sitting on the birthing ball the water hit it and sprayed off in every direction. Scott had to move out of the way so it didn't get him. After this my body started transitioning and I found new determination. I was able to focus better through the contractions and stay more relaxed. I would have 3 contractions right in a row then I would get a 5ish minute break between contractions where I would actually fall asleep. About 15 to 20 minutes after my water broke I started feeling pushy during my contractions. I would just get little urges like I need to push so I did. Then I starting feeling really pushy. It was such a cool feeling. Like not having any control and just feeling the desire to push. It completely took over my whole body and I don't even remember having contractions after that. Just the desire to push. I was still laboring on the birthing ball and got to a point where every time I would have a contraction and start pushing I would have to lift myself off the ball because I felt like it was in the way. So I asked if they could move it and I just remained at the side of the bed squatting. Crowning was something I was not prepared for. It was a LOT more painful then I ever thought it would be and mentally I was having a really hard time getting through it. I felt like I needed to push but every time I pushed it was extremely painful. I was starting to feel frantic and panicked. I was glad to Scott it just looked like determination because to me it felt like a freak out. It took a couple contractions to get past this mental block before I told myself there is nothing that is going to end the pain then getting that head out. So I just pushed and pushed hard. When the head finally did come out I felt such relief. The midwife asked me stand up so they could get the shoulder's out and once they came out the body just slid out with it.

It was such an amazing feeling. All the pain was immediately gone as they passed the baby up to me to hold for the first time. I stood there holding her and looked over to Scott to see him crying. Our baby girl was born at 9:23 pm weighing 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 1/4 inches long. The first thing I remember thinking after seeing her was what big, beautiful dark eyes she had. She was perfect in every way.

The rest of the night was spent cleaning up, eating and getting Baby Girl all taken care of. By the time everything was done and I had soaked in the tub (As requested from my midwife) it was 2 am. The next morning I woke up at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep because I felt like superwomen. I seriously have never been on such a natural high in my entire life! I felt awesome. Like I could concur the world. I could not believe what I had just done. The whole experience was absolutely amazing to me and I never want to have my babies any other way. I was completely on cloud nine.

First Bath

Jacob was able to meet his baby sister for the first time Wednesday morning. I was so excited for them to meet! It was actually emotional for me to have my first sweet little boy, who I love so much, meet his little sister, who I also love so much. I was so excited for Jacob to have a sibling with all that came with it. I loved having siblings and I just wanted Jacob to experience the same kind of love and fun that I had with my siblings. Jacob loved his sister right from the start. He immediately wanted to hold her and gave her kisses. I didn't think Jacob really understood me being pregnant and having a baby but after they met I know he had at least a little understanding. We told him this was HIS baby, and I feel like he understood. When we got home the next day he knew there was going to be a baby there and as soon as he walked in the door he started looking for her. I am so excited for them to grow together!

First Family Picture

Ida on the left, Jacob on the right in the hospital

We were able to go home Thursday. It always takes so long to get checked out but we finally checked out around noon. I am so excited to be home and to start this new adventure!

Jacob Update

So I've been really meaning to write an update post on Jacob for awhile now. Like since 18 months... He is now 21 months and I just can not believe how much he has changed since he turned 1. Looking back at his 1 year old pictures he just looks so small and baby like. Now my baby has turned into an adorable little boy.

Sometimes I just look back at pictures and video's of him and it just makes me smile and laugh and makes me so happy. I mean, how can he seriously get any cuter than he already is!

I love his personality. He is so easy going and loves adventure. I feel like sometimes he's too easy going and all the other kids push him around a little because he just doesn't care. When he's in nursery or playing with other kids his age, kids will just come up to him and take his toy away and it's like he doesn't give a care in the world. He just finds something else to play with. Every once in awhile he'll stick up for himself and wont let them take it and I think, "Good job Jacob! Way to stick up for yourself." But at the same time I love that he doesn't care. He is also not shy at all and has no stranger danger. That part is a little worrisome. When we go to a park or a store he couldn't care less if he can see us, or if we are there at all. He just takes off and doesn't look back. Which means we have to keep a very close eye on him. There are only a handful of times I can think of that he showed any concern that he didn't know where we were. But he didn't freak out. You can just see a little concern in his eyes. One of these times was when we were hiking down in Canyon Lands. We had let him get down on the trail and walk himself and he got distracted. So we sat and waiting for awhile but then said it was time to go so Scott and I took off down the trail a bit then hid in some bushes to watch him. After awhile he looked up from what he was doing and noticed we weren't there. So he starts walking down the trail yelling, "Mom, mom, mom!" over and over again. We could tell he was concerned he didn't know where we were but he was in no way freaking out.

 Jacob loves to "cook". Or watch cooking. Whenever there is someone, anyone, in the kitchen cooking he has to be in the kitchen cooking with them. He just loves for you to hold him so he can observe what you are doing. He doesn't hardly ever reach or interfere with what your doing. He just wants to watch you do it. We just recently got him his own kitchen set and he LOVES it! He sits and "cooks" with it for hours. All by himself just moving the pots and pans around. Putting the in the microwave. Washing his hands. Washing the dishes. He just loves it all.

Jacob also loves getting into kitchen cupboards or drawers and rearranging them for you. We have locks on our own but whenever we go anywhere that doesn't have locks that's like the first place he goes.

Although Jacob loves cooking he doesn't like eating the food he cooks. He is a very picky eater and has the worst eating habits of both Scott and I. From me he gets being picky in general. And from Scott he wants variety. So I can't feed him the same food over and over. It is very frustrating trying to find him anything that he will eat. Meal times are a pain. I've recently started offering him food that he normally likes. And if he wont eat it I just let him not eat. I figure he will eat when he is hungry.

Right now Jacob is an a "If I don't get what I want I'm going to throw a fit" stage. It can be very tiresome but funny at the same time. When he starts throwing these fits he literally does a belly flop on the floor. Straight from standing to belly. It can not feel good. But that's how he likes to get them started. He then proceeds to roll or kick or belly flop again. Like I said. It is funny to watch, but can get emotionally tiresome when delt with all day long. I'm glad stuff like this are just phases and it's not how it's going to be forever.

Another on of Jacob's loves is babies. Oh he LOVES babies so much! He wants to be with them, play with them, help take care of them, snuggle with them. It makes me excited for the new addition we are going to be adding very soon. Although I think it will be a struggle because he is going to want to be a little too helpful, I'm so excited to just see his interaction with her. I'm not worried so much that he is going to be in any way jealous of the baby. I think he will be thrilled we have one in our house. I do think he is going to go through a clingy stage with me because he wont be getting as much attention from me. But the baby he will just love.

Jacob with cousin Hampton

Jacob isn't really talking much yet. He has started to say a few words. It started about a month ago when Hunter and Melanie were up visiting. I feel like Hunter talks pretty well and I think just being around him Jacob decided he wanted to try to start talking. So he does talk a little and he still signs the words he knows. A couple of his favorite words are milk, cookie, cooking. He is going through a stage right now where he calls Scott, Scott, instead of Dad. So that's pretty funny.

Taught from Dad...

We switched Jacob over to a toddler bed at 18 months. He had started climbing out of his crib a few weeks before that so I figured why not switch him over to the bed. I feel like he transitioned very well. The first time I lay him down for a nap he was very very confused and looked at me like, "What are you doing? My crib is over there." But he stayed in his bed and didn't move a muscle the whole nap. We've had the normal problems of keeping him in bed and once he started opening the door we had to put a child safety nob on it but all in all he has done very well and sleeps just as well in the toddler bed as he did in his crib. Nap times have been a little crazy. He's to the point where most days he only takes one nap but some days he still needs two. We also discovered from trial and error that it's his morning nap that he still needs. Not his afternoon nap. At first we took away the morning nap and he was ALWAYS grouchy. Now he takes his morning nap around 10 and 11 am and sleeps for an hour in a half to three hours then he is good for the rest of the day.

I love watching Jacob learn and grow everyday. It's fun to see the amazing changes that take place almost daily! I love this kid so much and can't get over his cuteness!

39 Weeks

One weekish left and we are getting really excited to meet this little girl! At my doc appointment yesterday I was still dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced. So no changes there. But baby will come when baby comes! The midwife asked if I wanted my membranes stripped and I said no. I mean I'm not even to my due date yet. I'm not in THAT much of a hurry to get her here. She may come just perfectly fine on her own with no intervention from anywhere else. However, if I'm still prego at my 40 week appointment (which I prob will be) then I will get them stripped. I still want her to come sooner than later to avoid having to deal with any high risk have to get a c-section situations. 

Date: February 24, 2015

How far along? 39 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 34 pounds according to my scale. Up 30 pounds according to the doc scale.

Sleep: Still sleeping good. Try to keep my feet elevated at night to avoid swelling in my feet. Although the swelling in general has seemed to be down lately.

Movement: Still moving so that's always a good sign. She usually likes to sit with her back on my left side. But sometimes she'll venture out and turn so her back is on my right side for a day or two. But then she switches back over to the left.

Feeling sick? Just the past few days I feel like right after eating breakfast I feel sick. It doesn't matter what I eat. I have no idea if that's pregnancy related or my body just being weird.

Other pregnancy symptoms? Pretty much the same as last week. Swelling hasn't been as bad. I get out of breath really easily. Like when I'm reading something aloud, or I walk fast paced somewhere. All in all feeling pretty good.

Have you started to show yet? So I used to think I was carrying lower with Baby girl, but according to the pictures below it looks like I'm still carrying just as high as I was with Jacob. I used to also think I wasn't as big as I was with Jacob. But again, the pictures might show otherwise.... Either way still no stretch marks so that makes me happy.

39 Weeks with Baby Girl

39 Weeks with Jacob

38 Weeks

So I didn't get my Friday the 13th baby.... I guess she just wasn't ready to enter this world. Don't blame her really. Life is a lot easier for her inside my womb. Nice and warm, fed all the time, cozy.

We are down to two weeks. I feel like the pregnancy has flown by! And these last two weeks are going to fly by as well. I feel like having a baby is so surreal. I feel like I'll never go into labor. How does it just happen? It's just all weird. Then how will I know it's happening when it does. Everything is so new. I'm excited and anxious at the same time. I don't know what to expect and that makes me anxious. But I also feel prepared, ready and excited to experience labor.

I had my doctor appointment today and everything is looking great and on track. I'm measuring 36 weeks which my midwife says is normal because she is probably starting to drop. Baby girl is still heads down and in a good birthing position. And when checked I was 1 cm dilated and my cervix was 50% effaced. So pretty much what my midwife is saying is all these dang contractions I'm having are pretty much doing squat!

Date: February 17, 2015

How far along? 38 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 31 pounds according to my scale. One pound more than I wanted to be but I think it's only because I've started retaining water. According to the doctor scale I'm only up 28 pounds. Usually it seems like the doctor scale is more but I'll take it :)

Sleep: Since sleeping in my bean bag I've been sleeping a lot better! As long as I'm not sleeping on my hips I feel pretty good.

Movement: Baby girls movements are starting to slow down. I think it's getting pretty squishy in there. But every single night she wakes up between 11 and midnight. So I'm sure that will carry on after she is out as well. I really don't mind when she does move around. The only time I have a problem with it is when she wont get off my bladder or my cervix. There was one night that I had to go to the bathroom like 6 times in an hour because she just would not get off my bladder!

Feeling sick? I'm pretty much over being sick! YAY! As of around 36 weeks I've finally starting feeling good. It is so nice! And I can totally see how if I felt like this the majority of my pregnancy that it wouldn't be that bad. Unfortunately that is not me. I'll take my last month though.

Other pregnancy symptoms? - I feel so tired all the time! It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. By the time evenings hit it's a struggle to stay awake. And sometimes throughout the whole day.

- I feel like I'm experiencing new sensations with this pregnancy that I never did with Jacob because he was never in my pelvis. I'm a lot more crampy and feel a lot more pressure on my pelvis and hips. I feel a lot more discomfort in my hips all together. I feel like when I sit I get stiff really easily. So when I get up my hips and pelvis just ache.

- Night leg cramps. Throughout my pregnancy I've gotten these legs cramps here and there at night but I've always been able to flex it off before it really came on. Not this morning. Wow... It felt like it lasted for 10 mins. I'm sure it was just over a min. But I was flexing so hard and my leg was getting so tired! Now my calf muscle is sore. I also get cramps in my feet and toes really easily.

- I started swelling at 35 weeks and 2 days. I totally jinxed myself. I had just been talking to Scott the night before about how awesome it was that I hadn't started swelling with this pregnancy. With Jacob I started swelling around 26 weeks and it was bad! Well the next morning I woke up and I could immediately feel that my feet were swollen. They felt so tight! Fortunately the swelling hasn't come to stay. I'm only swollen on some days here and there. When I sit a lot for work I swell more. I've decided that's probably why I swelled so bad with Jacob. Because I was constantly sitting for work with him 9 hours every day. So although I know that my body is starting to retain water it's not very bad and I'm still able to wear my ring.

- Lots of braxton hicks. Some days I feel like they never stop. Other days it's just here and there.

- My indigestion and heartburn hasn't been too bad. I'll get it here and there but nothing bad. I also don't get that super full feeling all the time like I did with Jacob at this time. I am still very excited to feel "normal" again when it comes to eating. I just want to eat when I want how I want and not have to worry about how it's going to make me feel. Getting so excited for that.

Have you started to show yet? Everyone tells me I look smaller with Baby girl than I did with Jacob. I would agree. I do not think I'm as big as I was with Jacob. I don't have stretch marks. In fact, I still have extra skin that I can grab on my stomach (TMI?) so I think that's a good sign. :)

Baby Names: Scott and I have not picked a name out for Baby girl. With our experience with Jacob we've just decided not to get attached to anything. When we see her we will know what to name her. We do have a list though. Here are our top names. We like to use middle names of family members. Both Scott and I have a great grandma named Ida. And on my side my grandma's name was Joan and Scott's grandma's middle name was Joan. So that is where our middle names have come from.

- Noelle Ida
- Hazel Joan
- Ida Joan

We shall see I guess what it ends up being! Oh ya... And also Scotlyn because isn't both our names combined. :)

So for the past week my laptop has not been working so it's been really hard to get my work hours. The one benefit from not being able to work while Jacob is sleeping is I've been able to finish Baby Girls baby blankets! I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that I just wouldn't have time to make them before the baby came because of work. So that is the only benefit of not being able to work!

 Close ups of the cute prints!

 And Jacob because he's a cutie! And he loves his firetruck pj's!

34 Weeks

I can't believe I only have 6 weeks left. I was worried that these past couple months would drag on so slow... But with how much I've been working it's really making them go by super fast! But we are ready for Baby Girl when she comes. I've finished getting the crib all ready and have gotten all her clothes organized and ready to go. So all we need now is a baby! Don't worry... I don't want her to come this early.... But we have decided on a date. February Friday the 13th. That's just two weeks before my due date. :) Now lets just see if she'll cooperate.... 

12 week to 34 week belly progression

Date: January 20, 2015

How far along? 34 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 24 pounds.

Sleep: My groin pain started acting up again around 32 weeks. It got to the point that i couldn't even roll out of bed without feeling like my groin was going to split in two. So I've made the switch to the bean bag and am sleeping much much better now. In fact I think I slept the whole night through for the first time in a few months. It was awesome!

Movement: At my 34 week appointment my midwife commented that she thinks my stomach is fun to look at because I don't have much fat so it's skin then uterus and you can see everything that baby is doing inside. I would have to agree... You can almost see exactly what position she is without even feeling if you look long enough. It's definitely fun to watch. :)

Feeling sick? I think I'm feeling as good as I'm going to feel for the rest of my pregnancy. Occasional nausea here and there but as long as I keep food in me then I usually feel pretty good. I am starting to count down the days that my body feels "normal" again.

34 Weeks

Other pregnancy symptoms? As I mentioned above my groin pain is starting to kick in more. When I exercise it's more noticeable then when I don't. Also when I lift up my leg to put pants on or sometimes when I walk up the stairs. I do not think it's nearly as bad as it was with Jacob though. But I might just be remembering the last month of my pregnancy with Jacob that it was so bad so maybe it will still come. I also have shortness of breath. Sometimes the smallest things just leave me panting for more air! I decided I have pregnancy congestion. I've had a stuffed up, slightly runny nose for the past 3 months or so and I thought it was just a lingering cold that wouldn't go away. I've decided now that I think it's pregnancy related. I had it with Jacob as well. I have some heartburn here and there but it's not as bad as it was with Jacob. And as long as I don't eat a ton of food then I don't get that super full going to explode feeling like I always got with Jacob no matter how much I ate. Still no swelling and I'm pretty sure at this time with Jacob I was leaking colostrum. Which hasn't happened yet either.

Have you started to show yet? I'm carrying Baby Girl lower than my last pregnancy.  I think because Jacob was so big and breech that he just never was able to drop. So I just carried him high up until the very end. Which means no room for lungs or stomach. I think this is the reason I don't get as much heartburn, indigestion and super full feeling as much as I did with Jacob. So no complaining here!

So I might be changing my midwife... I was going to make my 36 week appointment with Susan but she wasn't available. So I'm going to come up with a list of questions to ask my current midwife then at my next appointment schedule with Susan and just see how I like their different responses. I met with Susan once when Natalie was gone and she seemed way more personable than Natalie. She also seemed more on board with my birthing plan. So... We shall see!